a little late is better than never
sorry
I haven't been updating this website at all really the past month or so. My exams picked up big time, I had to travel for a wedding which resulted in a lot of energy being drained from me...
There's drama like usual with my family and things like that. Just basically... everything happens in a big cluster together and I was really struggling with all of the obligations I had to complete. It felt like such a race, even though it's been over a week since I've completed my exam gauntlet I still feel as though I am in motion, juggling all my tasks like I am rushing against time.
For my GPA, it's not as good as I wanted it to be, despite getting a 100% in one of my courses. One of my profs had it out for us, only giving us three graded projects over the entire semester (one of which I bombed because he never told us his expectations until the last project). Me and Ciel effectively got the same grades for the course, her GPA was two points higher so I'm really proud of her.
J decided to go to get treatment so she's been gone for about a week now and it feels strange not having her around but I really hope she is getting help/therapy in a way that will help her heal. She's been really suffering from it and try as we might there's really nothing we can do to help her. We try to be supportive. It was really hard to let her go. She's having issues there and even though I call in to the facility they won't give her my messages or return my calls, so I only hear from her for like five minutes whenever she calls us and we happen to be around to answer it... she said she made friends though and that they play cards etc. Keep her in your prayers, reader.
We had a scare with the basement thinking what happened at the old house was happening here and that was kind of retraumatizing especially after being at a huge low point but Ciel helped me through it and we ended up using it to just get rid of some crap we were holding onto to try to sell. We've been slowly spring cleaning so that's going good. Every day I have of free time I feel like I'm never doing enough and it weighs on my sense of self worth. But I've been slowly picking away at my list... and I have to admit, Ciel makes me really happy.
Ciel always cheers me up and is always so supportive and with her on my team I can get through anything and I can't even put here all the stuff that I've been able to achieve because of her belief in me.
In other news, I have been playing a lot of Pokemon because that's what I do when my brain starts to fry. In Final Fantasy 8, Ciel and I have got to the third disc, where there's the flashback to Laguna in prison with the lil Moomba and he's trying to ask the scientist/professor(hojo cousin) where Ellone is. I still really like the game it's not anything what I expected it to be but it's really charming. At some point of the month of April I was grinding cactuar's but we haven't gotten to the island yet. We also got the Tonberry summon and did the Odin quest. Trying to do all of this without a guide is really funny because we just figured out now at this point in the game you can upgrade weapons... . lol....
I wrote a Squall/Seifer fic (on AO3
here) which felt good to finally do since me and Ciel are constantly chatting about it. I want to write more about them but I'm determined to update my FFVII longfic instead. I wanted to make my AO3 dashboard look not so unhinged since I haven't been writing much and it's the first thing people see when I apply to zines and the like...
at some point in this month I drafted and got my draft approved for my piece for FFX for the Final Fantasy Fanthology zine.... I haven't heard anything from the Riddlebat zine because the staff were also going through it for the past bit just like I have been this month.
I also am rewatching Strawberry Panic (I was obsessed with it in grade school but had no one to gush to it about) and Ciel thinks it's really cool so that makes me really happy ... : )
I found a few shinies this month which felt awesome. It's the perfect time killer when you are feeling stressed and/or panicking. Oh yeah, we also (as a household) spent most of this month marathoning The Simpsons, Ciel had never seen it before. It's comfy but also the background noise to when I'm doing something in one of my Pokemon files.
I found:
Clefairy in FireRed (childhood file) .... this one I've been doing for about a year idk how many resets but it's a lot.
Abra in FireRed (childhood) .... figured if I could get one at the Game Corner I could try for another : ) got around 4,000 seen. Named after Phantom of the Opera : )
Random Encounter Oddish in FireRed (childhood) ... it was actually my target, I fully expected to get Meowth
Totally random Sentret (Platinum, Kadaj) ... I was radar chaining at 6, me and Ciel were racing eachother and I found her randomly, not from a shiny patch!!!!
I've been grinding to collect all the trainer card stars, me, Ciel and J spent an evening doing the underground flag one (so I finally got Spiritomb as well). We also maxed out our contest conditions of two Pokemon after mastering the minigame. It was really hype and cool, I am working through all the contests with Angeal (Garchomp) and Matrimony (Shiny Chimecho) first.
I also have been grinding to collect every single contest item, I got all the amity park ones, one left to go from daily massage, halfway down the list of the florama town berry exclusive ones. After that, I just have to get all the secret base decorations... some of the Mr.Goods one will be really annoying to try to complete. I know you don't have to get all the items to gain all the trainer card stars but I find it really satisfying and relaxing to do. It helps me unwind and playing Pokemon is a way better idea than taking an anxiety pill when I do need to relax but can't will myself, or when I need to sleep.
I'm hunting Mewtwo in FireRed currrently : )
We smoked weed for 420 adn got suepr blasted and now I bought weed again uhoh even though I've been being pretty good the rest of the year of being off it. It helps me tolerate the stress / torture of this month.
Oh and I finally ordered a daki cover I got one from Lemon Studios of Ran and Chen Yakumo : )
Check it!!
Whenever I have bad dreams Ciel does psychoanalysis and then i feel better. Whenever i need to talk about my feelings ciel gives me good advice or helps me with a good gameplan. I can't express how much I appreciate her role in my life and how happy she makes me.
I tried watchingsome Fishtank since I caught it on th first day they entered the house but its pretty boring to me honestly ...
Ciel showed me this youtuber that goes into detail about mario and sonic plushies i like it : )
ummmm what else..... I got approved to two webrings, the self-insert one : )
Pokemon Stadium was released for the switch but it does not have gameboy connectivity or home connectivity so theres not much of a point in playing it unlessyou do not have stadium or an n64 and you are desperate and dont want to emulate.
I got a pony OC for one of my alters so Ciel is hosting them for me which is nice : )
meet cinnabar i promise to have a pony section to this site and also my own hosted oc index here EVENTUALLY!!!
we haven't gotten a chance to work more on the redesign but it is coming !!!!
I took two classes and learned to make these, I felt really good about finishing them since I had to put it on pause for over a month...
I'm trying to remember what else to say but thats all I can think of off of the top of my head at like 5AM when Iam still half stoned.
Best wishes to you,
Sephi
